Do you really need a closure ?

Almost six months ago I broke up with my then-boyfriend of 2 years.  We’d been friends before, and due to being in the same friends group, stayed friendly afterward.  I thought we would be able to make better friends than a couple, but I didn’t push the issue, as it was obviously awkward.  

I always thought I owe him a story of how I felt because keeping your mind off of your ex can be extremely difficult. You may be questioning where the relationship went wrong or why the happy times had to end.

But then i realized, you don’t owe them further communication. You do not have to be friends. You don’t owe them telling your story in a way that makes them look like the good guy. 

Leaving an abusive relationship can be a mix of emotions. As you begin to move on and find yourself again, you may feel overwhelmed with memories of the good times you and your ex spent together. It is perfectly normal for you to have feelings of regret or miss your partner. Longing for closure to a relationship is a common feeling after any break up, but remember that it may not be safe for you to contact or meet up with your ex once it’s over.

I had a hard time letting it go and move on from the relationship. I tried and avoided all things that reminded me of my ex and I thought I did the best that I could have done. Of all things, what I’ve learnt is, you shouldn’t have to give up your love of things you love just because they are associated with a past love affair.

So what if your ex recommended that great novel or movie to you. You loved it? Cool, it’s yours now, part of your canon. Your favorite restaurants and bars and coffee shops and bookstores? Yours. Go there, head held high, and eat the delicious food and drink the delicious drinks. Friends you made during the relationship, who you would still like to hang with? Call them up. If you genuinely care for each other and have things in common besides common knowledge of some dude or lady, the friendship will work just fine. If it doesn’t? It wasn’t meant to be and you can let it go.

Loving someone means letting a whole bunch of new experiences, associations, and inspirations into your life, and you’re not obligated to let go of stuff that you love (or worse, creative work you made) just because the person didn’t stick around in your life forever.

Moving on isn’t just about getting over you ex. It’s also about realizing that you deserve to be respected and cared for in a relationship and spending some time being happy with yourself.

0 thoughts on “Do you really need a closure ?

  1. Such a well written and well-expressed post it is! As for me, closure is important. Without closure, I doubt I’d be able to sleep peacefully! There were days when once I stopped to talking to my ex, thinking it would make things fine, but it only added more burden on my heart. When I finally had a word with him and blurted out what I had in my heart, I felt free!


  2. I think you’ve hit one of the most significant parts of moving on – the emotional attachment to physical objects that we feel we need to give up because it reminds us of them. We need to give up this diner and that movie, this song and that set of friends. Not really necessary, really, is it?

    1. You just move on from the relationship, that doesn’t mean you give up everything else. In fact, it reminds you of good days and happy memories. Yayy xD

  3. Closure makes the mind certain about the relationship status & it’s no longer confused or complicated 🙂
    Well expressed. Glad you moved on More power to you!

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