Confusion ?

It’s not completely fair for those who have given up their life to be with that one person to spend their life with. I recently watched this Marathi movie named Sairat and even though i hated the ending to the core, i couldn’t help but think about them as a couple and the struggle they must have gone through. I also realise it’s stupid of them to run away from their family but then it’s just love that made them that way.

I wouldn’t say I am having relationship troubles,it’s just that we both are two different individuals who grew up in two different societies. We both grew up in a middle class family but two different countries and that’s probably where we went wrong. Whatever sounds perfectly okay to me isn’t even close to okay to him and the vice versa. 

I grew up in a society where being friends with guys was perfectly normal and even sharing the house with them was fine as i stayed abroad but i never entertain late night parties and sleepover because i am just not in the habit. Unless it’s something like reunion, I don’t understand the need of people staying up in the weekend when all i need is sleep after 9 hrs of office on a Saturday.  

I am not saying i don’t want to hang out but my priorities have definitely changed in the last year. I would rather prefer a quiet dinner with people i know rather than hang out with a new individual. I know i am just being ridiculous but I am just in that phase of the life where i don’t want to keep meeting people and partying with them unless it makes sense.

As a college student, I knew hell lot of people and I am finding it hard to keep in touch with each one of them as my time doesn’t permit. Am i being funny or is it just normal? I mean I want a place where I just wanna come back and sleep it off instead of discuss things with people who don’t even care about.

As a migrant, it hasn’t been easy acquiring a place , the kind i want because the one i have at the moment is no less than a junk. To be honest, i really dont want people coming over at all especially not when i am not in the mood.And every other day someone ot the other keeps getting their girls, something i do not appreciate because this is home and not a brothel. Please do correct me if i am wrong.

Today i voiced out my opinion as a migrant and what did i get ? A slap infront of everyone and treated like just anyone when i am a part of this house. Sometimes i wonder why am i even in this abusive relationship because i type this he is out smoking pot with one of his friend and his slut friend while i lay here in my bed crying my heart out. Am I wrong ? Do i not deserve a better life because he doesn’t give a shit at the moment even if i post my tits here. 

I have tried giving up multiple times and always stop myself because i really feel i deserve better.






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