My Heart Still Aches

It always happens.

The morning after.

You dream of that person you have lost and suddenly wake up in the middle of the night not realizing that you have been crying. It becomes close to impossible to breathe because you remember. And of all the things you know in the world at the moment – you don’t want to remember.

My friend passed away a little over two weeks now. Ever since then, I have been trying to write about him but i always find myself so lost.  When a mutual friend told me about this, I couldn’t breathe and was unable to think straight.

Shashank had cancer. It took less than a year to steal him away from everyone who loved him.

I have been struggling since his death to find the right words to describe him- to tell you about him , to explain why this loss is so tragic. Any death of someone so young is a tremendous loss.

How do i describe the most selfless person I know ? How do I explain that when I was going through rough times, he always made me feel better and never missed an opportunity to encourage me, tell me how much he cared about me or supported whatever I was doing? How do I recount the people he inspired, the lives he touched?

Shashank was a son, a brother,a friend, a fighter and someone I can honestly say guide me to be who I am today. I will always be thankful to Twitter else I would have never known this man. Ever since I have known him, he has just spoken about stars and shared the knowledge he had. Trust me, he just loved stars and could go on and on about them. A Lunar Rock – which is also my Blog’s name was the name he used in social media platforms and I dedicate my blog posts to him because he inspires me. He made me believe and give me hope that Good People Still Exists. He supported Liverpool and absolutely hated that I supported Chelsea. He didn’t really hate hate but he had his share of fun poking me.

I was not in my best position to further pursue my education when he showed me a way or rather say guided me to the right path. He was studying abroad in Arizona and the time zone obviously came in between but that never stopped us from talking everyday. I managed to get into a university where I continued. Today I am proud to say that I work for a reputed marketing agency where they took me in and treated me more like a family. Even though he never told me enough, I know deep down he was proud of me and happy for me.

Last when I spoke to him, he sounded like he was in such a good spirit that I didn’t want to believe what worse really meant. I didn’t see him as I’d hoped.

I still have messages on my phone and I have been re-reading our conversations on Facebook. Even faced with such an extreme challenge, his faith and the will to fight will always inspire me.

He leaves behind a lot of people who loved him- including his family whom he was proud of. If this doesn’t mean something special, I don’t know what does. You were a treasure, my friend.

I am better for having known this beautiful soul. I will always miss him.


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